WIVES – submit to your husbands as to the Lord…
This is (just going to guess), probably the least requested Scripture text for weddings in modern western society. A lot of people don’t like this text. A lot of people hate this text. A lot of people don’t believe in this text, or accept this text, or receive this text. Yet – this text is the Word of God, is it not? Yet so many Christians today struggle with this text (and so many others along with it.) See, what happens is, whether it be THIS TEXT or any others that we don’t find to be to our liking we READ THEM and bristle at them. And PUSH BACK AGAINST THEM. And rather than submitting to the Lord… – rather than submitting to God’s Word, we teach the “traditions and teachings of men.” Qualifying God’s Word. Disagreeing with God’s Word. And nullifying God’s Word. And so we are constantly putting our own opinions and traditions before and against God’s Word.
In Mark 7 Jesus brings this up in reference to the Law about caring for our parents finanicially and physically in their old age (yes that is a command of God). But the Jews of Jesus’ time, just like we ourselves today, – put qualifications on that, limitations on that, pushed back against that and said rather – WELL… YOU KNOW… maybe, but maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I don’t have to. Maybe I don’t know how to. Maybe I can just let them pay for themselves to be taken care of by someone else. Maybe I don’t have the money for that. Maybe this – maybe that. But nobody seems to think that maybe we should have prepared to have money to take care of our parents in their old age before we spent that same money on a new 4K TV and a new car and a bigger house and so on.
We see this in Jesus teaching about nonviolence, where He says if one strikes you on the face to turn to them the other side also that they might hit you again, if someone takes your cloak to give them your tunic too, if someone asks you tto go with them one mile to go with them two. And we so often think – WELLLLLLLL …. He couldn’t have really meant that, I don’t think, I don’t want, I don’t like that. Pwerhaps, if someone strikes me I can just strike them backc. Perhaps if someone strikes me I can just walk away. Perhaps God can say that and I can just not do that.
We see this when Christ says to forgive all who sin against you, not just up to 7 times but up to 70 times 7, thatis up to the fullness of infinite times. And we think – WELLLLLLL if I do that ill just be enabling people to sin against me, ill just become a doormat that other people walk upon. Ill just become Like Christ was, crucified upon the cross of other peoples anger and abuse. And so we think you know, perhaps Christ SAID that but perhaps I can just not do that.
We see this with God’s teachings about homosexuality, about abortion, we see this about God’s rejection of cross dressing and transvestism, we see this in God’s instruction for the family, for marriage, and for the church too. For almost each and every thing that God has said to us in His Word we can find SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, replacing God’s Words with their own teachings, with their own opinions, with their own feelings, with their own qualifications and limitations and excuses… be the Scripture in question theological or ethical.
And you know what this is? This is a submission issue. It is a love issue. And it is a selfishness issue. See, We – in the west (the modern west) –we have been taught, and we have been trained, to resist submission to authority. We have been taught instead to revolt, to rebel, to vote, to insist on equality, – and to tear down patriarchy, and hierarchy, and every and all structure of authority. To fight for ourselves. To fight back in the schoolyard. To take the retributive pound of flesh. To protect ourselves, and get whats ours. To never give without receiving, and never to forgive without punishing.
And yet when we turn to SCRIPTURE (God’s Word), – we find that these things of hierarchy and authority and patriarchy and self sacrifice, and service to the other – be that in the family, or in the church, or in the government, or in the workplace, are instituted by God. And commanded by God. And described as GOOD by God. And we see that EVERYTHING ELSE. – democracy, equality, and obsessions with liberty and self gratification – are traditions of men WHICH HAVE BEEN TAUGHT as though they were doctrines of God.
Lets begin here. Wives – submit to your husbands AS TO THE LORD. Submit… what does this mean? What is it to submit? Does anyone know? It implies LEADERSHIP, and authority structure. Does it not? Yes… yes it does. Notice this. It implies the EXACT OPPOSITE of the egalitarianism that characterizes the modern west. Does it not? Let me give you an example. If one says do this, and you don’t want to, or to not do that which you DO WANT TO, What is it to submit? Is it to argue against their will and wish? Or is it to submit to theirs against your own? It is to NOT go with your will, with YOUR desire. With YOUR opinion, but to subject yourself to THEIRS even if it is against your own.
And this we understand… don’t we? Think again of all the examples I gave you earlier. In matters of biblical ethics – when Christ says if one strikes you on the cheek turn to them the other also. Is that something you already wanted to do? Probably not. And yet if we do this what are we doing? Our will? Our wish? Our desire? No. but God’s. it is to put our will and our desire away for the other’s that GODS WILL might be accomplished through us. Not because we just so happened to agree with it or desire it also, but because His will is good and ours is not. Because His Word is true and ours is a lie. Because His heart is pure while ours is DARK. And so we submit TO THE LORD and deny ourselves.
Now, I hear some people say, very well I will submit to the Lord, but I will not submit to my husband, because He is not the Lord. Have you heard this? Have you thought this? Look again at the text before us this morning. Wives submit to your husbands… (AS TO THE LORD). And in doing so, even if its against your own will to do so. Why? Because THAT IS HOW YOU SUBMIT TO THE LORD.
And why is this that God commands this of wives? Because He says here before us this morning – BECAUSE – the husband is the … HEAD (that is, the authority) OF THE WIFE. Notice here is not saying the Husband is the head of the wife if she agrees to that structure, or if she prefers that, or if she wants that. He doesn’t say that. Rather he says, as objective fact, the husband is the head of the wife JUST AS Christ is the head of the church. Just as Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife, and God the head of Christ (1 Cor 11:4)
Now what does this mean? That Christ is the head of the church (that is, as authority)? Does it mean that when Christ says something that we don’t like we can dismiss it and live in whatever way we prefer or decide upon? Does it mean that there’s room for compromise and disagreement? No… no it doesn’t. It means that what Christ says is. It means that we believe Christ teachings. That we submit to Christ’s teachings, that we follow Christ’s teachings. And that means all of them. Not that we decide which ones we like or don’t like, which ones we agree with and which ones we don’t. which ones we believe in and which ones we prefer to ignore. No, but this means that the church bows and bends and submits to Christ as her head. So in the same way, Paul says, (not me but Paul) wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. (V. 24.)
Again, I know this is hard for a lot of people – BUT THIS IS GODS WORD. And yet I have heard it said, (constantly) that THIS VERY TEACHING (which came off the page of this bible, NOT OUT OF MY HEAD) is not God’s Word but mans tradition. But the TRUTH – is the exact opposite. THIS IS CHRISTS WORD. And everything else that we have been taught or have heard or have ourselves thought; that the husband is not the authority of the household, that the household is an equal egalitarian partnership, that wives aren’t required to submit to their husbands, and so on and so forth – THAT IS ALL THE OPINION OF MEN. That is not in the bible. But THIS IS. And so what ought we to do with it? Reject it? Qualify it? Limit it? Or will dare to do the radical thing and submit to it?
See notice here, (just as Paul himself says) . Were speaking about marriage here in one way, – but in another way were not really speaking about marriage at all , are we? What were really speaking about is what? Submission to the Lord. In all things – conformity to the will of God. IN this way the wife’s submission to the husband (as to the Lord) is a SCHOOL OF VIRTUE, a training ground for something greater. For something else. For something spiritual. For what? FOR SUBMISSION TO THE LORD. That’s what marriage is. (and parenthood, and childhood, and school, and the workplace, and ALL OF LIFE). It is the school of virtue. The spiritual training ground. The place where your faith’s rubber hits the worlds road. It is a PICTURE OF CHRIST AND THE CHURCH.
But not just the wife – this is also true of the husband. For we don’t stop here, saying only that wives are to submit and that husbands are to be the authority in the family. But rather St. Paul continues – NOW HUSBANDS, you are not to wield that authority for your own sake, but rather, you are to LOVE your wives – again speaking of Christ here, – JUST AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. And how is it that Christ loved the church? THROUGH SELF-SACRIFICE unto death. Through laying His life down for her WHILE SHE WAS YET SINNING AGAINST HIM. Do you see this? Christ does not love us by giving us laws and saying do this for me and do that for me and make me this sandwich and clean this house for me while I sit around and do nothing and lay my feet up and drink beers as though I was your king and you my obedient slave. No, – but by serving her in all things, giving Himself up for her in all things. For Christ has shown His love for us in that He died for us while we were yet sinning against Him. And THIS IS THE LOVE HE CALLS HUSBANDS TO POUR OUT OVER THEIR WIVES. THAT LOVE. The blood sacrifice kind of love. The suffering for her kind of love. The complete handing over of your own flesh and blood for her kind of love. The love that COSTS YOU SOMETHING. The UNCOMFORTABLE LOVE. Not an ushy gushy feeling or an affection or an appreciation – but an ACTION – and DEVOTION – and a, MODE OF BEING kind of love. An I LIVE FOR YOU kind of love. This is what husbands are to be TOWARD THEIR WIVES. As the Lord Christ said to us (His church), if you love me you will keep my commands. So now He says to husbands – IF YOU LOVE YOUR WIVES, you will live FOR THEM. You will not USE THEM. You will not abuse them, you will not become burdens to them. You will not Lord yourselves over them. But rather, you will, in all things SERVE THEM. For as Christ said the Son of man did not come to BE SERVED – but TO serve. So it is with His call upon husbands toward their wives. Lead, guide, provide, protect, (yes all that,) but most of all SERVE.
And in this both the husband and the wife are a PICTURE, an IMAGE, and ICON if you will of Christ and the church. The husband here, is a picture of Christ’s love for the church. And the wife here, an ICON of the church’s submission to Christ. Do we see this idea? In this way Christian marriage is to show forth Christ and His love for the church. For those in authority (be they husbands, fathers, masters, pastors, or so on) they are called to act AS THE LORD to those below them. That is in love IN ALL THINGS. That is sacrifice FOR THEM in all things. That is GRACE AND MERCY TOWARD THEM in all things. And for those under authority (as we all are under some) that is wives, that is laity, that is children, that is employees, that is civilians under a prime minister or a king – you are to act toward them as unto the Lord.
In this, the things that the world views as BAD WORDS (authority – submission – respect, honor, self-sacrifice – and the like) are put forth to us by God as GOOD and ESSENTIAL WORDS for the living out of our faith, BY WHICH WE AR FORMED INTO the image, the likeness, the picture of God’s love for the world.
That is what we are invited into this morning. The goodness of authority. The goodness of submission. The goodness of love, and sacrifice, and honor, and duty, and respect, and service. We are called this morning to live as God has called us to do. Not as the world wants. Not as we would decide. But as the Lord has commanded us. For as God said (be not conformed to the way of this world, but be transformed by the spiritual renewal of your minds, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect (Rom 12:2)
